Soi 'half a dozen'
As we are going to be out all afternoon, the girls decide that they are going to go shopping to get new outfits for the party that is being hosted by Casper UK, Chris, Kevin and myself. The party had a special theme which will be detailed in tomorrows report.
I cannot remember how much was given for the purchase of clothing this time, but I did ask Nok to wear a nice dress as I'd like to show her off in the FLB Bar before going to the party. She understood what I meant even though she finds it difficult to use English words to reply. We also each give the girls 500 baht to buy food and booze as we were planning to have a quiet night in before the party the next night.
So the boys all leave to meet up at the Queen Vic which Nok(FLB) believes is on Soi 10, so she is left with this thought and nothing else is said. There may be another Queen Vic / Victoria on Soi 10, but this was not where we were going! We were off to Soi 6 for a lunchtime crawl.
We meet up inside and there are 9 of us in total. Hammer, MightyOne, Scumbag, Bazzap, Chris, Talen, Casper UK, Kevin, and Me.
We start with some good falang 'stodge' in our bellies and most of us are drinking Water, Orange, Tea etc. Not MightyOne; he orders an orange juice and then simply changes his mind and orders a Vodka / Lipo.
After settling all our bills, it's time to brave the hazards of Soi 6. We don't have to go far, as we all pile in to the place right next door which I now know to be called T G Bar.
Unfortunately they are not ready for the influx of 9 falang and I am left with no drink and no lady for 5 minutes until mamasan finally pulls in one of the girls from outside. She is no stunner and is quite bored until I offer to buy her a drink and then it's hands everywhere time.
By this time, Talan is getting some close attention from his partner
Next thing I know there is a lot of movement from the seats behind me. Kevin has just declared his passion for his lady with a classically romantic line; "Fuck this, let's go upstairs, NOW!" That's it; three of our number are on their way up the stairs for ST sessions. Whilst they're 'occupied', Hammer calls time on the place and the remaining crawl members make their way to Kiss Kool.
As we go through the door, a quick smile to one of the girls has her on your arm and you are lead off to the sofa. I am not even going to wait for her to settle down before offering a drink so I simply order a Heineken and "one for yourself". You get the the usual surprised "oh thank you kind sir" sort of treatment and they are off to get the drinks and earn their small bit of commission.
As we settle down on the sofa, my girl simply starts massaging my nether regions whilst us falang guys all continue a surreal conversation that went something along the lines of.
"You know this place isn't bad"
"Yeah they've really made an effort to do it out nicely"
"I agree; it's actually quite a classy place"
"What the fuck are you talking about"
"When is a BJ joint on Soi 6 ever going to be 'classy'?"
"Yeah, I take your point"
"I dunno, classy BJ joint has a good ring to it though"
The girls really gave us a good time in this place, and you know what I would actually have to agree that it was quite stylish and yep it was quite classy.
Or maybe not
As we leave Kiss Kool, we meet up with our playing partners who had obviously 'lost their balls in the rough' and make our way to yet another 'classy' joint - Sexy Soi 6 where it's a straight "Heineken for me and a drink for you" which again has the desired effect of being allowed a hand in her knickers and she fondles my balls. Isn't life a bitch?
When Adam calls time on this place, the crawl is deemed to be over. We start our walk back along the Soi to get a baht bus down to Beach Road where we are going to find a bar at the top of Walking Street and just have a couple of beers before going back to the hotel.
As we pass Route 69 (I think that was it's name), Adam suddenly turns off and with a wave goodbye he enters another 'classy' joint.
As we walk past Kiss Kool, there is a lot of jeering and I am pointed at by the lady that I had been playing with earlier. I have no idea if this yelling is a good thing or a bad thing, so it's eyes front and quicken the pace to get to the relative safety of Beach Road.
We are still about fifty yards from the end of the Soi when a baht bus stops right at the end of the road. Three falang walking quickly up the middle of Soi 6 is obviously good customer potential. The drivers of these buses seem to have some sort of sixth sense when it comes to getting a punter. (Same same for the BGs really). We head of down Beach Road and decide that we will just go and have a few drinks in a different bar somewhere at the top of Walking Street.
We start the walk down Walking Street and decide on the Moonlight Bar. I have no idea why we chose this place, but we weren't hassled and we just sat and chatted about how awesome Soi 6 had been.
I then send a text to Nok saying that Golf with Adam is now over and we were just having a few beers in Walking Street and then we will return to the hotel. It seemed like a safe plan. (Duh!)
Kevin & Chris aren't really into the native food, so they decide that some good falang 'stodge' would be in order, so it's off down the road to Kilkenny's for Kevins staple foodstuff of Cottage Pie.
After eating, we realised it had just gone 7pm, so it would be 'rude' not top pop into FLB for a quick drink before returning to the hotel. In we go and we just start chatting away and drinking a few beers when my phone starts ringing. It's Nok! "Where you? Food ready for you now." Oh shit! It's gone 9pm and we had said that we'd be back around 7 - 7:30. Call for checkbin, down the drinks and off to get a taxi backto the hotel. There is a veritable food mountain awaiting us.
Kevin and Chris make no real attempt to eat anything, with claims of too much sun walking around the golf course, but I try a bit of just about everything and pass my experrt judgement on whether it tastes good, indifferent or bad.
After everyone has eaten enough, the girls tell us that we should go down to the hotel bar whilst they clear everything away. We don't need to be asked twice, so it's down to the now familiar table by the bar and a few cold beers.
After a while, Nok (Cherry) appears in the bar and holds out her 'loom key' and announces that she is off to bed. We take this as a sign that it's time for everyone to retire, so we checkbin and finish another day in Pattaya.
Lying in bed, I am asked "Why you lie?" "You no play golf, you go drinking with Adam. Adam not play golf" I am now being pinched on the arm quite hard (The bruises actually lasted several days) and I have no idea how much the BG network might have reported back on our afternoon activities. I am really not practised enough in the art of lying, so I come clean and tell her that we hadn't played golf, but had been drinking in Soi 6. "Soi 6! You butterfly? You go short time?" "No I not go short time I promise" "You not lie to me" "No, I not lie" Phew Then a couple of minutes later comes the mortar attack, "Kevin butterfly? Kevin short time?" Aagh, I have dug this hole so deep now. I jump down the big hole with a simple response
"Yes"
(I'm sorry mate. I am getting better now, but when cornered like that, I couldn't think fast enough.)
Oh fuck, this could get very messy.
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