Trip 1 - Day 21

Saturday 11th November
Return from Koh Samet & Sparkydaves party

I think the understatement would be to say that the start of the day has been somewhat frosty. I am still annoyed and have not left any tip this morning. If things go well tonight, I may pay 2500 - 3000 tomorrow morning for the two nights. Tonight is the last night that I have paid BF, so it's a sort of make or break night in many ways.

I feel that a tip to a BG is for providing a time, attention and any agreed additional 'service'. Sometimes the service may not be up to your expectation, but there is still an obligation to tip in my opinion, albeit at a lowel rate than originally agreed. Yesterday, there was no personal time, no attention and no service, so no tip! If I had been unable to perform, but she had still tried, then that would have been my problem not hers, and I would leave tip in this situation.

Before continuing, I have to warn you all that this is a 'no pictures from me' day for reasons to be described later. (Kevin has supplied a couple for me to use.)

We all meet up for breakfast and the speedboat appears right at the side of us. We have already checked out and the bags are at reception. At 8:55, our bags are collected and placed in the boat; we join them and set off for Ban Phe. 10 minutes later we are mooring up. We look at the map afterwards and realise that the ferry journey and subsequent cab ride to get us here had taken us half way round the island and the speedboat just had to cross the channel to return us. Oh well, we are very early now and have to hang around in the open shop for the bus back to Pattaya. Nobody is talking much, but then the girls do not appreciate getting up at 07:30 in the morning. (Even if the only thing they've done for the past 24 hours is sleep)

To compensate for this, Nok sleeps most of the way back. We are deposited at the RG and we go and grab a familiar table by the pool and order up some cold drinks. We then check the room situation with Reception and they are full.

Okay it's still quite early, so we can grab a baht bus as a private hire and find ourselves alternative accommodation. Joy is in charge of this operation and she instructs the driver to take us to Soi Diana. We arrive at Areca Lodge, but they are also full. Okay, no problem; on to the next place. We arrive at Twin Palms Resort and after checking at reception, they do have rooms available. We go and check in. Kevin books for two nights and I decide that it would be a good idea to go home on Wednesday.

I have a plan to go shopping in Soi Buakhao on Tuesday and get some things for the kids etc. as well as a few more nice tops for myself. (What do we say about plans? DON'T MAKE PLANS! (This one failed as well))

Anyhow, Kevin pays 1400 baht for two nights and I pay 2800 baht for 4 nights. We then get given the keys to our rooms and it's time to lug our belongings up the stairs. Kevin is on the 1st floor and I am on the second. The rooms are spartan to put it mildly, but it's only for a short while. Actually I decide that I am not going to stay here for the full four nights, but only two and I will stay somewhere nicer for my last two nights when I will be on my own.

Nok then tells me that she is going to take her bag to her room. (I was not to know at this stage, but this is the last time that I was to see Nok during this trip)

I manage to get all my dirty clothes bagged up and deposited with the maid in order that everything can be laundered before the next night, but I am out of shirts now, so I tell Kevin that I am going to the market place at Made In Thailand to get a couple of shirts and a pair of trousers. He needs to go to the dentist and also to the optician to pick up his glasses, so we arrange to meet at Anna Jet for a beer when we are both done sorting stuff out.

I get my new clothes and then decide to go and investigate alternative accommodation for my last two nights. I remember seeing somewhere that LK Metropole was just past Areca Lodge and it had good reports from SexyBeast and also Martin from FLB lived there, so it must be okay. As I pass the end of one of the Sois leading from 2nd Road to 3rd Road, i see a sign TMD Travel, so I decide that I'd better go and buy my ticket home. I go into the shop and they check the cheapest one way ticket and it's Gulf Air. It's the same flight that I was supposed to get last Monday. I book the ticket and pay for it using my Debit Card. I am told to return in half an hour to collect the e-ticket. That's okay, I now have time to find my hotel room. I ask at the reception of LK Metropole if they have a room.

"We full" I am told.
Hang on, I haven't even told her what dates I want.
"I want a room for 13 Nov and 14 Nov. Just two nights"
"I check. We have standard room. Is 2500 baht"
"Okay, thanks, I will let you know later"

Then it's back to the travel agent to pick up the e-ticket for my flight home. As I come out of the travel agent, I get a call from Kevin

"I'm at Anna Jet now. Where are you?"
"I'm just crossing 2nd Road now and can see the end of Soi 7. Mine's a Heineken"

I'm at the bar within a minute and Kevin asks why it took so long to get a couple of shirts. I showed him the ticket and he just smiled. Then I told him that I was moving out for the last two nights and he told me that he was thinking of moving out now, but Joy had convinced him that it was only for two nights and that it was easier to stay put.

We have a couple in Anna Jet and I realise that I have now got a ticket and will be leaving this city soon.

The place is quite friendly, but it seems very different in daylight and without the girls on parade.
(Ah, Tain! I remember the 2nd November crawl and I have her mobile number in my wallet. Maybe in January)



Then we wander further down the Soi to the smartest beer bar that I have encountered in Pattaya - Amazing Paradise (If you are in this area of Pattaya, you really should check this place out.) Nuch I think her name was. I have her photo and she was another real cutie.



We have a couple here then we decide we'd better get some food as we haven't eaten since breakfast on Koh Samet. We take a road that leads north of Soi 7 and find the Oliver Cromwell English Bar. That'll do nicely. Kevin has a breakfast and I have an omelette. It's good fayre and 'hits the spot'.

We wander back to the hotel and go off to do the standard SSS before embarking on Kevin’s last full night on the town. (Sunday is planned to be more subdued as he has a very early departure). We agree to leave the hotel at 6 and go for food at Kilkenny's, then an hour or so at the FLB followed by Sparkydave’s party at Cherry Bar from 8.

I send a text to Nok saying that we are leaving the hotel at 6 and will be going to Kilkenny's. I do not get a response to the text, but this has happened before, so I am not too concerned. Kevin and Joy arrive at my room as they couldn't work out how to use the intercom facility on the phone.

The three of us walk down to Beach Road and get a baht bus to the end of Walking Street. A quick meal in Kilkenny's then I try sending another text to Nok but get no reply. I then try to call her, but the phone is routed to some answering / messaging service. I think I manage to leave a voice massage. On to FLB, except it's not yet 7pm and the place isn't open. No problem, we go and sit in a bar on the junction of Walking Street and the entrance to Shark GoGo. After about 30 minutes, I remember that I was supposed to go and sort out my room reservation at LK Metropole, so I leave Kevin and Joy and make my way to 2nd Road and get a baht bus to Mikes Shopping Mall. I walk down Soi Dianna and into reception.

"Sorry we full"
"I came in earlier today to make reservation for 13 Nov and 14 Nov"
"Okay, I check. Here. You pay deposit 2500 baht okay?"
"Okay"

Deal is done. Now it's over to Cherry Bar. I send another text to Nok saying that I will be in Cherry Bar at 8. Again, there is no response. I try telephoning the number, but it is still routing to the messaging service. This is not good.

I am real lazy and get a baht bus from Mikes to Soi 8. As I approach the bar, there are lots of greetings from the girls as though I'm some long lost friend. (I've just checked back, and I haven't been here since Day 12. All the shit with Am sort of buggered everything up) I am surprised at this and would have only guessed that I'd been away from the place for 4 or 5 days at most.

I am pounced on by Joy who comes over and shows me a picture of Talen on her mobile phone.

"Your friend?" "Yes" I reply "He good man" she says waving her new gold bracelet and ring at me. (Since this episode, Talen sort of admits to the bracelet but claims the ring has nothing to do with him. If truth be told, I really don't want to know about Talen and Joy's ring. ‘Too mut information’)

She sits next to me while I order a beer and check my mobile to see if I have any texts or missing calls. Next I am accosted from behind by Pun. She lets me know that she is with a customer tonight and tomorrow, but she is free on 13 Nov.

This is all getting a bit weird. Joy is sort of shoved out of the way and I am moved down one stool to the right so that Riam (I hadn't a clue what her name was until Day 22, but I knew it began with the letter R) can sit in the stool I'd just vacated and Pun sits on my right. I order a Heineken for myself and drinks for Riam & Pun. Before I get the opportunity to pick up my Heineken, Riam has taken it and taken a great gulp of beer. She then grabs my head in two hands and snogs me passionately while squirting the beer into my mouth. It looks like this could develop into an interesting evening. I try contacting Nok again, but I still get the messaging service. It's gone past 9 now, so it would appear that I've been blown out. I am fed my Heineken at regular intervals and am really getting used to this way of drinking beer. Guys you really should try it!



I am aware that Pun has now gone to see her 'customer' and the vacant seat is taken by the gay guy that works behind the bar on party nights. He's really camp and a good laugh. We'd chatted and played silly games with the girls and Nui at one of the previous parties. Next thing I know, my beer is being fed by him to Riam and then to me. I've already swallowed it before I realise what's happened but it's too late to do anything about it now. As I haven't objected, the situation degenerates into some sort of Bacchanalian orgy. Kevin turned up with Joy at some point during the proceedings, however I was too far busy to acknowledge his presence. Food and drink were being shared between several mouths both male and female.

As it was a party night, I am not even going to attempt to lie and cover up my behaviour. Hammer is always armed with his camera at these events and I am sure that he must have some highly incriminating photographic evidence.

My checkbin became full up with slips, so it was settled and then started afresh. I vaguely remember playing that electronic timed shooter challenge several times and Riam kept winning. (HEALTH WARNING - This innocent looking 'toy' is Evil!)



Some of the girls kept trying to pronounce my name, but as they couldn't even spell it, they weren't going to get very far. No problem, my driving licence is in my wallet and that has my name on it. I take the licence out and put my wallet down on the bar. The girls inspect the name on the licence and keep trying to pronounce George. They really have difficulty and to be honest, I am having difficulty with my nether regions being fondled through my trousers. Is it a guy or a girl doing this to me? I am not going to look. As they say 'just go with the flow'. I know that I need to go to the loo for a 'pee pee' though, so it's off to the classy bogs armed with my 5 baht.

I return to my stool and realise that it's getting very late now. I'd better think about making a move back to the hotel. It appears that I have agreed to BF Riam for tonight, well why not? These decisions seem to just be made for me in this bar, but hell, why not? Riam may not be the prettiest girl in Pattaya, but she is extremely fit, has a really great permanent smile, she laughs incessantly and is great fun.

I go to settle my checkbin and discover that my wallet, my phone and Kevin’s camera (sorry mate) have all gone. I let Hammer know, because I am not in a position to settle my checkbin now. That's not a problem for him, I can pay tomorrow. Okay, that's cool. I think about trying to contact Barclays to stop my debit card, but even though this episode has sobered me up a bit, I really don't think that I can manage International Directory enquiries and all the subsequent 'on hold' and 'press the star button' stuff from my hotel telephone which has no direct dial facility. It'll have to wait until the morning.

I check the contents of all my pockets and discover that I have about 1300 baht in odd notes in all the different pockets of my cargoes. (A sure fire sign of a pissed up night). Riam is still 'buzzing' so I ask Hammer if there are any bars open where Riam could just dance for a while. He tells us of a place up Beach Road I think it was. We head up there and I collapse onto a big sofa and Riam struts her stuff in front of me. I eventually pass out due to a combination of fatigue and alcohol. Riam wakes me up and leads me outside where a blast of ‘freshish’ air manages to wake me up.

Okay, it's off to the hotel. No problem I've got a card in ............. my wallet. Fuck it! Now what's it called? Twin peaks or something like that. Where is it located? 2nd Road. Which Soi is it near? Between Soi 6 and Soi 7. Oh I remember it's near the Hard Rock place. We walked along 2nd Road and thankfully find the place. At reception they give me my key, which is just as well as I have no idea what my room number is.

My performance that night was a big fat zero. Even the sight of a naked Riam coyote dancing down on to my face couldn't raise anything. After a couple of hours sleep though......

Another night in the crazy city of Pattaya just about survived, but the city very nearly won tonight

Trip 1 - Day 20

Friday 10th November
Koh Samet still

I am up and wide awake by 08:30, so I shower and go off to the restaurant for some breakfast. I telephone Kevins room from the reception desk and he says he'll be down in a few minutes.

After breakfast, he goes back to his room for more sleep (?), but I know that Nok will be fast asleep for many hours to come, so I decide to set off for a walk to see if there is anything interesting beyond the resort. Wwe discovered last night that there is nothing very interesting at the resort, so I hope this journey will be fruitful.

As I pass the beach office for Jimmy's Tours, I enquire about getting a speedboat to take us back to Ban Phe tomorrow morning. It will cost 1500 baht for the four of us, but the taxi ride is horrific and the ferry is just boring so that (Kerching - another 750 baht each added to the overall holiday cost). Yes, we will take the speedboat and I will call in later today to let them know what time we want to go.

I continue to walk up the hill, where it has to be said the view is pretty damn good.



The main road into Ao Prao is somewhat basic(?)



I reach the reservoir and walk right around it looking to see if there are any other roads leading off to somewhere interesting.



Apart from a few dirt tracks, there is no sign of activity anywhere. We really are out in the middle of nowhere here and the resort pricing shows that they know it too.

So it's back to the room for 11:30 and to my surprise Nok is wide awake! (No, I lie. She is still completely out for the count. I am not at all surprised. It is becoming somewhat tedious though.) She does manage to get up in time to have some lunch as eating is the number two favourite activity after sleeping. We are all getting a bit bored now and the girls are are pining for a mobile phone signal. They are really not used to being out of reach. Over lunch, we decide to hire a speedboat to take us on a trip around the island. This will cost us 3000 baht for a 3 hour hire, so we agree to this (another 1500 baht added to the holiday register - It's so easy to do) I get my trunks on and we are off to the beach to clamber on to the boat. Kevin buys a couple of cans of Heineken each for himself and me and the boat comes with a supply of Coke, Sprite & Water. We all sit up in the bow (the sharp end) and we are off.



The girls are much more appreciative of this mode of transport than either the ferry or the taxi, so it's big smiles all round (We have got something right).







We stop at a resort to have a half hour play on Jet Skis. I've never tried this before, but am willing to try (Kerching - 1200 baht each), but the girls are not even going to consider trying this out. Kevin and me get into 'boys toys' mode and go out and have a real blast, but Kevin manages to jar his back when crashing down on a wave. When we finish and return to the shore, we find Joy having her nails done and Nok having something done to her legs. Being a bloke, I have absolutely no idea what the procedure was, but she enjoyed it.

A can of beer from the boat supplies and then it’s off again. We stop in a little cove where we are to go snorkelling.



I have never tried this either, but agree to try. (Bad move!) After attempting to drink the Gulf Of Thailand, I get back on the boat and drink fresh water instead.



Kevin however is floating with the fishes





Then it's off on the last leg of the tour and we return to Ao Prao




b
We return to our room where I shower and have a lie down. Maybe a bit off pre dinner entertainment? No chance, the phone goes and Nok announces that she is going out with Joy. I say that if she wants anything then sign it to the Room bill. No, we are going away from the resort. I have no idea what this means, as I found absolutely nothing when I went of wandering about earlier in the day.

I decide that if the girls have gone off for a while, I shall treat myself to a Thai massage and Head massage which is carried out by a group of ladies at the edge of the beach. This is a very pleasurable experience and very relaxing. The smells of camphor and eucalyptus are very invigorating and I am feeling very mellow now. The lady really knew how to ease out some of the knots in my shoulders and even though it was a little uncomfortable to begin with, I could easily fall asleep with this lady just working on me. I really recommend a real massage. It really does relax the body guys and it's sensual without being erotic. The only problem in having it done at Ao Prao is price (Kerching - 800 baht). What a great way this was to watch the sunset on the island beach.

I go back to the room and Nok has returned and is asleep again. I can't be arsed now, so I write a note: 'Am going to the restaurant for a few beers and something to eat. Come down when you're ready.', so at 7pm I am sitting in the lounge area of the restaurant having a cold Heineken and just 'chillin out'.Kevin and Joy appear and ask where Nok is. "In loom, sleeping" I laugh. (But I am not finding this in the least amusing now.)

The three of us go in to the restaurant and have a meal. (It turns out that Joy and Nok had gone somewhere to eat, so hadn't been gone long, whereas my massage took nearly 2 hours). I had a mixed meat kebab that was cooked over the barbeque and was served with Jacket Potato and Corn. It was very good and really hit the spot.

After the meal we moved back to the lounge area and at 10:15, Nok finally showed up. She had a single glass of orange juice and then it was time for everyone to retire for the night. We get back to the room and am feeling very loving now as I am feeling very relaxed and I've had a meal and a couple of drinks, but I am dumbstruck with the next statement. "I tired, you sleep tonight". I respond immediately with a laugh and say "You joke? You sleep all day". She counters with "I tired, you sleep your bed". I am really fucking pissed off now, so storm off to the bathroom to shower and shave and return to the room saying "Okay I sleep" I get into bed, turn my back to her and switch off the lights. She seems confused by my reaction, but I am seriously upset and pissed off now. I do not know what went wrong or why. I am very confused. Of course I cannot sleep, so simply lie in bed with all sorts of thoughts running through my head. Nok is a beautiful girl who can and has been real fun to be with. She has inspired me to improve my personal appearance and we have had some fun moments. I care for her very deeply (and as I am writing this, my feelings are still very strong for her and I desperately want to know if she is okay), but I do not understand what has gone wrong with our relationship this week. She just doesn't seem to be enjoying this week at all. It doesn't matter whose 'fault' it is, but I make it clear that having sex is a requirement not an option, but I will not force myself on her if she says no.

Trip 1 - Day 19

Thursday 9th November

An early start required (Well it's early for a Thai girl) as we are off to Koh Samet (Samed) for a couple of nights. I remember to phone the dentists first to change my appointment from Saturday to Sunday, so that's all okay. We also have to check out of the hotel as they do not have any rooms available from Saturday night, so it's pointless keeping our room on for the next two nights when we won't be there.

The hotel agrees to store our cases in the Housekeepers storeroom until Saturday and if there is a room available then, we shall simply check in again.

The minibus arrives at the hotel and there are already a few people aboard. We drive around Pattaya picking up additional passengers and then set off for Ban Phe where we are to get a boat over to the island.

The girls ask if we are travelling by speedboat and we have to reply that we haven't got the faintest idea. After a cramped journey lasting around 90 minutes we are dropped of at this open fronted store that is the travel centre at Ban Phe. We are told that we need to pay extra for island tax and we can prepay taxi here. (We hand over 880 baht and Kevin and I have a quick chat and both feel that we have probably been conned.) It's one of those 'if we have, then by how much?' and 'Is it really worth the grief to find out?' moments, so we let it slide.

We have to walk down the road and along one of the dodgiest commercial piers that I have ever navigated to find this ferryboat that is to transport us to our destination. Let's just say that the transport is not 5 star, but as long as it gets us to our resort, we can put up with it.

The girls are both disappointed that we are not travelling by speedboat, so Kevin says "Don't worry, we will use the speedboat on the return journey" (A few more baht needlessly disappear as we have paid a return on this ferry and will not use the return leg. Between us it's only 280 baht, so what's that? - It all adds up)

The ferry departs and the girls are worried that they are going to be seasick, but the water is very smooth as we set off.



We settle down for the journey and have no idea how long it will take.



As we get away from Ban Phe, the water gets a little more choppy, but nothing too bad. The girls make comments about if they go in the water they cannot swim so "me die".



The scenery is rather different to a Beer Bar complex in Pattaya.



We sail past one resort that appears to be quite lively and think that we are clever farang and have made a good choice here.



At the next resort, the ferry comes in to moor



We are then shipped on to what can best be described as a raft with an engine to transfer us to shore. We have no idea where we are or what we are supposed to do now, but when we mention Ao Prao, we are shown the sign that says taxi. Off I go to find our taxi (that we have supposedly paid for) and about 150 yards up the road are vehicles that are similar to baht busses, however they have no roof at the back. I ask for Ao Prao and am told "200 baht". I show the receipt given to me in Ban Phe and the driver just shrugs and says once again "200 baht". "Okay, 200 baht. I will get my friends, they are on the beach" (As we thought we have been ripped off for another 200 baht. (It's only a small amount, so it's not worth making a fuss). The road for the first 100 yards or so of the journey is okay if a little primitive.



After checking in, we are shown to our rooms which are located on the hillside with good views over the sea. After the obligatory SSS, we decide that we had better eat and have a couple of beers, so we make our way to the restaurant where the girls say that the Thai food is okay; not great but very expensive and the same can be said for the farang food here. Also the service here is painfully slow and I personally wouldn't rate the place any higher than 3 star. It is most definitely not a 5 star establishment.

The girls then go off to go and get their hair washed and Kevin and myself sit around and watch the afternoon sun over the water. (How romantic)



Kevin starts to tell me some of his plans for his long term relationship with Joy and I am concerned because he appears to be really jumping in with some major commitment here and he has only known the girl for 4 days. He asks me about my plans with Nok and suggests that I pay her not to work until our return in January and to see how things are then. I say that I'll think about it, but am not sure as yet. Kevin decides to retire for a nap and to await the return of the girls, so I opt to take a short walk and see what's about. In short; not a lot.



I awake to find Nok in the room putting that damn whitening stuff on her face. She is sporting the latest Pattaya fashion statement (A Cherry Bar T-shirt) and certainly looks ripe enough to eat.



We then get ready for our first evening on the island and meet in the hotel bar for cocktails, but they are not really my thing and the music is very piano bar style. Schmoozy and designed for farang families who believe that they are living the jet set life in a five star hotel. In truth there are a lot of boring middle aged and elderly farang families sitting about having something to eat and a couple of drinks before going to bed at around 11 pm.

Not for us!!!! We are going to eat at one of the other resort restaurants and have a few beers and maybe a few vodkas and listen to some decent music. We wander down to the only other restaurant at about 9:30 and we are told that "Food is closed", so it's back to the hotel restaurant, where we have another overpriced and not particularly good meal with terrible service and a boring piano bar singer. We really know how to live it up. By 11:30, the place is virtually shut, so I decide that I may as well turn in. I take Nok’s hand and say "We go to loom now" (You see, I've got this Thai lingo word perfect now)

Nok smells absolutely gorgeous tonight and her freshly washed hair adds a certain 'je ne sais quoi'. I might not know what it is, but I do know what it does.

Afterwards, we talk about how much Nok earns in the FLB bar and how much she earns in tips and commissions. I am not sure that I understand all the numbers that she is saying, but it appears to be a small sum per month (I believe that she says that her total income is about 5500 baht per month including drinks commission) and of that she pays out around 2700 baht for her room, water and electric.

Her food bill is negligible as she eats when on duty at the FLB each night and she has two days a month off. If I've got this right, then she has suddenly become a very wealthy lady over the past two and a half weeks. She will still receive her salary as well as around 45000 in tips, shopping money, food money, taxi money, and laundry. In addition, she has not had to spend any money on fares, water or electric at her room.

As I say, if these numbers are right, then she has received 16 months disposable income wages in 2.5 weeks. Wow, I am overpaying aren't I? Well, I set the rate on Day 3 of my trip ( It was 'up to me') and to change it at this late date now would appear to be petty. A serious renegotiation will most definitely be necessary for January.

Damn these twin beds, I can't even get a nice cuddle now, but hey 'Cham mee kwam suk'.

I wonder when I will get around to going home?

Trip 1 - Day 18

Wednesday 8th November
Bar Crawl & Rickys Party

I am up early and go to have breakfast by the pool before anyone else is up. I haven't really mentioned the hotel bar area before. It has been a great meeting place for morning / afternoon breakfasts and also for meeting up and having a pre night out drink. We've always been far too late for a nightcap though.

A couple of daytime pics by the pool for any of you that need a few 'innocent' pictures to pad your holiday snaps for wives / girlfriends / children (Sorry about the date being printed; different camera)





Kevin and Joy surface quite early and it is obvious that 'love is in the air'. Oh dear! (What's the current spot value for chickens, pigs and buffalo in Udon? - I see a large demand curve on the horizon)





It's going to be a long day today and I've already warned everyone that I am going to get drunk today. There will be plenty of time for some peace and quiet on our mini holiday to Koh Samet. The FLB crawl is on a Wednesday this week and is also a lunchtime session. I check the details on the forum and find that we can pick up the crawl at the Jade which is less than 5 minute walk from our hotel.

We have a lazy morning / early afternoon and I manage to post a few of my early days TRs. By 14:00 it's time to put all the stuff in the room and get ready to leave for the crawl.

Both girls have to go to their respective rooms today in order to get packed for the 3 day trip to Koh Samet, so they both want a 'loom key'.

Kev gives his 'loom key' to Joy and asks me to make sure I've got a key so that we can get in if we return before the girls. Nok will not surrender her 'loom key' and says that Joy will not be back until 7pm, so she would be locked out.

I cannot face an argument over this or bother to negotiate who should be the holder of the keys, so I simply say that Nok can have my key, but if we expect to get back early for any reason then I'll send her a text in advance. She is happy with that. (It's only a bloody key!)

At 14:25, we set off to Jade resort, but cannot find the place, so we wait on the main road until the baht busses containing the other crawl members arrive. Good lord, there are over 30 BMs on this crawl. I'll bet that the bars will have difficulty managing this lot.. So it's down the road to Jade (about 50 yards further than Kevin and I had wandered earlier) Opposite Hotel California (honestly!) and about 150 yards down on the right hand side (past the white arches).



We pay the 200 baht and get led off to a table next to the pool. This seems nice and comfortable, but the problem is that there are too many BMs in attendance and not enough girls. As the girls are taken out of service for ST and other general groping activities, there is no staff left to provide drinks. I guess this place would score more highly in my view if it was less busy and you weren't forced to go and hunt for your pleasure.



I have become too used to having the pleasures approach me. Sometimes I just think 'Yup, this one is nice. I am enjoying this' through to a smile at the one that I'd like to be with which has provided good results in many cases as well.

Not to worry, it's off to Jomtein next, so we all pile into several baht busses and the next stop is Las Vegas.



Not what I'd call stunners here



With the exception of this one in the middle.



I have no idea of her name, but for 200 baht she will play pool against you in the nude (Her; not You!). This is one frame that you really don't want to win in a hurry and Adam plays some atrocious shots (Or is that his natural game?) From my vantage point sitting at the bar, my lasting recollection is starting at this perfectly formed ass leaning over the pool table. I do not seem to get this vision out of my head and reviewing my pics for the day, there are is a much higher proportion of backside shots than usual.

Then off somewhere else. I have no idea what the bar was called or what her name was, but she is a serious stunner in my opinion. Definitely my ‘stunner of the day’.



And some of the guys were looking as though they were having an enjoyable time.



Then it was off to Country Girls III, where I enjoyed a bit of snogging and general 'fiddling about' with Nid. She was really good fun and was my personal all round pick of the day.



The alcohol now kicks in and everything goes hazy for a few hours.

I go to the loo and when I return a few minutes later, several people have gone. I sort of remembered that I had to go and pay BF for Nok as this was a party night and I'd only paid up until Nov 7. This shouldn't be a problem but for some reason, I feel that I must go and pay the BF NOW! I get a baht bus from Jomtien and travel past the hotel into town and make my way down to FLB Bar. I manage to negotiate a 500 baht discount on the BF for today (Only 1000 baht then) and pay BF until Saturday night. A total of 2500 baht bites the dust.

Another couple of beers and I'm well and truly pissed and it's only about 7:30 I think. I get a text from Nok which says "Not ok, come to hotel now". Okay, I'll go when I finish my beer. Then another message from Nok’s phone comes through "Nok and Joy with me HeHeHe. C U 2morrow Kev". That's it, I'm back to crying in my beer and I'm a total alcohol fuelled gibbering wreck now. Then another message comes in from Kevin’s phone this time saying "At Kilkenny's, see you in 10 mins". At the same time, I get a prod in the back; it's Nok and she simply says "I joking, okay?". No it bloody isn't okay, but I say nothing.

Nok takes me back to the hotel where its SSS and a change of clothes, then we head back to FLB for Ricky's party.

Joy & Nok (Honestly, I recognise them from this angle now)



You see, I was right!



The girls do enjoy a lively party (And thank God this was livelier than the bloody golfers)



And here we go, another shot of Ann (with Nok - now that's a fantasy thought). I have taken a picture of Ann just about every day and I have only just realised it whilst sitting here in England writing my TR.



Joy and Ann? (Kevin would never understand and he'd never forgive me)



No, Joy is definitely spoken for [more details on this later]



The dancing competition gets underway with an enhanced payout pot. Several of us have added 1000 baht each to make things a little more 'lively'.



Yep, it works! Money & Alcohol! It's all you need for a successful dancing competition.

And this is really scary, because I know that this is Ann again and I don't remember taking this picture. (Camera is obviously mau as well)



This would be just downright greedy.



Another crazy day and night in Pattaya is over and I have only partially survived I fear.

Trip 1 - Day 17

Tuesday 7th November
A Shopping Trip & The weirdest conversation

I come into the lounge having showered and Kevin simply says to me "Get your card out of the safe, all 4 of us are going for a holiday!"

Apparently Joy is not that fussed about going for a visit to her village, so Kevin has simply changed the venue to Koh Samet. Joy has told Nok that she is going on this trip with Kevin and apparently Nok also wants to go. I am in a bit of a daze over all this, as I was just planning a couple of days of quiet time to try and work out all the stuff in my head, but instead it's time to strap up tight 'cos here we go on the rollercoaster again.

Kevin and me go off to town on the baht bus to the junction of 2nd Road and South Pattaya Road and there is a Travel Agent called Joy (it would be, wouldn't it?) and we enquire about a three day (2 night) excursion to Koh Samet. We are shown a brochure of hotels and Kevin decides that Ao Prao Resort must be the best as it's marketed as a 5 star place. (Subsequently I found this note on http://www.thaihotels.com/ko_samet/ : Star ratings for hotels in Thailand have to be taken with a grain of salt, as there is not established rating system yet in Thailand. This system is currently being developed under leadership of the Thai Hotels Association and other industry bodies. Today hotels basically rate themselves)

The agent phones through to check availability and we are informed that the hotel is full; however there are still some deluxe rooms available. The price difference is only 600 baht per room per night (a little extra a lot of times is adding to the costs of this trip. I will need to be more aware of these extra costs on my next trip) so a decision is made there and then; the booking is confirmed and the trip is paid for (around 12,000 baht a couple for two nights B&B and return travel to the island).

The agent says that the bus will pick us up from our hotel at 07:30 on Thursday. We just start laughing and say that there is no way that we will get the girls up and ready for that time, so the agent changes our departure time to 11:00 (Much better).

So that's the holiday sorted out.

Kevin asks if I am going to book my return flight home whilst we are here. I say that there is no rush and I'll do it later. He just bursts out laughing and this draws some strange looks from the staff in the agency.

Next it's off to Soi Buakhao to buy some clothes as I forgot to put my laundry in yesterday and am running desperately short of tops and trousers. (The market is held on Tuesdays and Fridays. It’s a great place to get some cheap holiday clothes) I check out the shirts on one of the stalls and see a couple that I really like. There is a label in the bag with 425 printed on it and I think that £6 for a Polo branded shirt is not too bad a price. I pay with a 1000 baht note and get 805 baht change. Now as all seasoned BMs know, the Thai people do not make mistakes with money (unless it's to swindle some extra out of you), so I check the label again. It is a style number, not a price, so it was actually 195 baht (under £3). Now I know the going price, as we wander around the market I buy a couple of pairs of cargo pants (300 baht & 350 baht), 4 more shirts (199 baht - 225 baht each) and a couple of pairs of shoes (350 baht each). I have spent about 2400 baht in total and I am happy with my purchases. (I also realise at this point that the amounts of money being provided to the girls for shopping trips has been OTT. Just a simple outfit and a hairdo can be easily purchased for 1000 baht and a special one off outfit including a dress for a party can be had for 2000 baht., so no more 3000 baht shopping budgets from me. I know that many of you do not agree with paying for these shopping trips, but it gives me some pleasure seeing the looks on the girls faces when they get new pretty clothes. It's a universal happiness I suspect.

Moving on, we go to the IT centre to find out the price of an English / Thai (and other languages) electronic translation device. Am had one of these and it seemed to work fairly accurately and could save some embarrassment or confusion in the future. The problem is, we don't know how to describe the unit sufficiently well, so after a search on all 5 floors, we give up and decide to make our way back to the hotel.

When we arrive, Nok tells us that the Travel Agent has been on the phone to the hotel saying that there is a problem. Nok had tried to phone me to tell me, but I'd left my mobile in the hotel room. We phone the agent and Nok tries to determine what the problem is. She is simply told that there is a problem with the papers and I have to go to the office urgently. What can the problem be I wonder? I do not fancy trying to resolve this without assistance so I collect my passport from the room safe in case it's an ID issue and get Nok to travel to the agency with me. We get a bus immediately (no surprise there!) and we are in the travel agency 5 minutes later. They ask to see my ticket and simply swap one bus ticket for another (They have written the wrong cost on the receipt). That's all, goodbye. We are out of the shop within 30 seconds and back at the hotel less than 15 minutes after leaving. (TiT)

That evening, Nok decides to stay in the room and meet us later, so I travel in to town with Kevin & Joy. We plan to take in a few GoGo Bars tonight as we failed to complete this task a few nights earlier. It's too early for the GoGo's, so it's into FLB (we are such creatures of habit!)





The plan is to stay until around 10 and then visit a couple of GoGo clubs, however I encounter my first (and only) 'upset stomach' and I don't relish the idea of being too far away from relief. I pop out to the pharmacy and get some Immodium, then return to the FLB. We start playing the now familiar dice game with a few girls (Ann joins our group again! I still hadn't noticed her, yet I was busy taking a photo of her nearly every night!) [Patience boys]



We stay at FLB until we realise that we are the only customers in the place. It's probably a good time to leave. "Checkbin"





That night in bed, the weirdest conversation yet takes place.

"You really coming in January?"
"Yes"
"Martin really hab money for party on my birthday?"
"Yes"
"How long you stay in January"
"I don't know at the moment, I need to decide. Anyhow what will you do while I am gone? Maybe you go with other farang or maybe you become green badge hostess or maybe you go and dance in GoGo bar?"
"No want"
"Okay"
"What you do if I pregnant? You want DNA test? Is okay, I joking. Why you worry about age?"
"Never mind, it's my problem. Fan dee na"