Trip 1 - Day 19

Thursday 9th November

An early start required (Well it's early for a Thai girl) as we are off to Koh Samet (Samed) for a couple of nights. I remember to phone the dentists first to change my appointment from Saturday to Sunday, so that's all okay. We also have to check out of the hotel as they do not have any rooms available from Saturday night, so it's pointless keeping our room on for the next two nights when we won't be there.

The hotel agrees to store our cases in the Housekeepers storeroom until Saturday and if there is a room available then, we shall simply check in again.

The minibus arrives at the hotel and there are already a few people aboard. We drive around Pattaya picking up additional passengers and then set off for Ban Phe where we are to get a boat over to the island.

The girls ask if we are travelling by speedboat and we have to reply that we haven't got the faintest idea. After a cramped journey lasting around 90 minutes we are dropped of at this open fronted store that is the travel centre at Ban Phe. We are told that we need to pay extra for island tax and we can prepay taxi here. (We hand over 880 baht and Kevin and I have a quick chat and both feel that we have probably been conned.) It's one of those 'if we have, then by how much?' and 'Is it really worth the grief to find out?' moments, so we let it slide.

We have to walk down the road and along one of the dodgiest commercial piers that I have ever navigated to find this ferryboat that is to transport us to our destination. Let's just say that the transport is not 5 star, but as long as it gets us to our resort, we can put up with it.

The girls are both disappointed that we are not travelling by speedboat, so Kevin says "Don't worry, we will use the speedboat on the return journey" (A few more baht needlessly disappear as we have paid a return on this ferry and will not use the return leg. Between us it's only 280 baht, so what's that? - It all adds up)

The ferry departs and the girls are worried that they are going to be seasick, but the water is very smooth as we set off.



We settle down for the journey and have no idea how long it will take.



As we get away from Ban Phe, the water gets a little more choppy, but nothing too bad. The girls make comments about if they go in the water they cannot swim so "me die".



The scenery is rather different to a Beer Bar complex in Pattaya.



We sail past one resort that appears to be quite lively and think that we are clever farang and have made a good choice here.



At the next resort, the ferry comes in to moor



We are then shipped on to what can best be described as a raft with an engine to transfer us to shore. We have no idea where we are or what we are supposed to do now, but when we mention Ao Prao, we are shown the sign that says taxi. Off I go to find our taxi (that we have supposedly paid for) and about 150 yards up the road are vehicles that are similar to baht busses, however they have no roof at the back. I ask for Ao Prao and am told "200 baht". I show the receipt given to me in Ban Phe and the driver just shrugs and says once again "200 baht". "Okay, 200 baht. I will get my friends, they are on the beach" (As we thought we have been ripped off for another 200 baht. (It's only a small amount, so it's not worth making a fuss). The road for the first 100 yards or so of the journey is okay if a little primitive.



After checking in, we are shown to our rooms which are located on the hillside with good views over the sea. After the obligatory SSS, we decide that we had better eat and have a couple of beers, so we make our way to the restaurant where the girls say that the Thai food is okay; not great but very expensive and the same can be said for the farang food here. Also the service here is painfully slow and I personally wouldn't rate the place any higher than 3 star. It is most definitely not a 5 star establishment.

The girls then go off to go and get their hair washed and Kevin and myself sit around and watch the afternoon sun over the water. (How romantic)



Kevin starts to tell me some of his plans for his long term relationship with Joy and I am concerned because he appears to be really jumping in with some major commitment here and he has only known the girl for 4 days. He asks me about my plans with Nok and suggests that I pay her not to work until our return in January and to see how things are then. I say that I'll think about it, but am not sure as yet. Kevin decides to retire for a nap and to await the return of the girls, so I opt to take a short walk and see what's about. In short; not a lot.



I awake to find Nok in the room putting that damn whitening stuff on her face. She is sporting the latest Pattaya fashion statement (A Cherry Bar T-shirt) and certainly looks ripe enough to eat.



We then get ready for our first evening on the island and meet in the hotel bar for cocktails, but they are not really my thing and the music is very piano bar style. Schmoozy and designed for farang families who believe that they are living the jet set life in a five star hotel. In truth there are a lot of boring middle aged and elderly farang families sitting about having something to eat and a couple of drinks before going to bed at around 11 pm.

Not for us!!!! We are going to eat at one of the other resort restaurants and have a few beers and maybe a few vodkas and listen to some decent music. We wander down to the only other restaurant at about 9:30 and we are told that "Food is closed", so it's back to the hotel restaurant, where we have another overpriced and not particularly good meal with terrible service and a boring piano bar singer. We really know how to live it up. By 11:30, the place is virtually shut, so I decide that I may as well turn in. I take Nok’s hand and say "We go to loom now" (You see, I've got this Thai lingo word perfect now)

Nok smells absolutely gorgeous tonight and her freshly washed hair adds a certain 'je ne sais quoi'. I might not know what it is, but I do know what it does.

Afterwards, we talk about how much Nok earns in the FLB bar and how much she earns in tips and commissions. I am not sure that I understand all the numbers that she is saying, but it appears to be a small sum per month (I believe that she says that her total income is about 5500 baht per month including drinks commission) and of that she pays out around 2700 baht for her room, water and electric.

Her food bill is negligible as she eats when on duty at the FLB each night and she has two days a month off. If I've got this right, then she has suddenly become a very wealthy lady over the past two and a half weeks. She will still receive her salary as well as around 45000 in tips, shopping money, food money, taxi money, and laundry. In addition, she has not had to spend any money on fares, water or electric at her room.

As I say, if these numbers are right, then she has received 16 months disposable income wages in 2.5 weeks. Wow, I am overpaying aren't I? Well, I set the rate on Day 3 of my trip ( It was 'up to me') and to change it at this late date now would appear to be petty. A serious renegotiation will most definitely be necessary for January.

Damn these twin beds, I can't even get a nice cuddle now, but hey 'Cham mee kwam suk'.

I wonder when I will get around to going home?

Trip 1 - Day 18

Wednesday 8th November
Bar Crawl & Rickys Party

I am up early and go to have breakfast by the pool before anyone else is up. I haven't really mentioned the hotel bar area before. It has been a great meeting place for morning / afternoon breakfasts and also for meeting up and having a pre night out drink. We've always been far too late for a nightcap though.

A couple of daytime pics by the pool for any of you that need a few 'innocent' pictures to pad your holiday snaps for wives / girlfriends / children (Sorry about the date being printed; different camera)





Kevin and Joy surface quite early and it is obvious that 'love is in the air'. Oh dear! (What's the current spot value for chickens, pigs and buffalo in Udon? - I see a large demand curve on the horizon)





It's going to be a long day today and I've already warned everyone that I am going to get drunk today. There will be plenty of time for some peace and quiet on our mini holiday to Koh Samet. The FLB crawl is on a Wednesday this week and is also a lunchtime session. I check the details on the forum and find that we can pick up the crawl at the Jade which is less than 5 minute walk from our hotel.

We have a lazy morning / early afternoon and I manage to post a few of my early days TRs. By 14:00 it's time to put all the stuff in the room and get ready to leave for the crawl.

Both girls have to go to their respective rooms today in order to get packed for the 3 day trip to Koh Samet, so they both want a 'loom key'.

Kev gives his 'loom key' to Joy and asks me to make sure I've got a key so that we can get in if we return before the girls. Nok will not surrender her 'loom key' and says that Joy will not be back until 7pm, so she would be locked out.

I cannot face an argument over this or bother to negotiate who should be the holder of the keys, so I simply say that Nok can have my key, but if we expect to get back early for any reason then I'll send her a text in advance. She is happy with that. (It's only a bloody key!)

At 14:25, we set off to Jade resort, but cannot find the place, so we wait on the main road until the baht busses containing the other crawl members arrive. Good lord, there are over 30 BMs on this crawl. I'll bet that the bars will have difficulty managing this lot.. So it's down the road to Jade (about 50 yards further than Kevin and I had wandered earlier) Opposite Hotel California (honestly!) and about 150 yards down on the right hand side (past the white arches).



We pay the 200 baht and get led off to a table next to the pool. This seems nice and comfortable, but the problem is that there are too many BMs in attendance and not enough girls. As the girls are taken out of service for ST and other general groping activities, there is no staff left to provide drinks. I guess this place would score more highly in my view if it was less busy and you weren't forced to go and hunt for your pleasure.



I have become too used to having the pleasures approach me. Sometimes I just think 'Yup, this one is nice. I am enjoying this' through to a smile at the one that I'd like to be with which has provided good results in many cases as well.

Not to worry, it's off to Jomtein next, so we all pile into several baht busses and the next stop is Las Vegas.



Not what I'd call stunners here



With the exception of this one in the middle.



I have no idea of her name, but for 200 baht she will play pool against you in the nude (Her; not You!). This is one frame that you really don't want to win in a hurry and Adam plays some atrocious shots (Or is that his natural game?) From my vantage point sitting at the bar, my lasting recollection is starting at this perfectly formed ass leaning over the pool table. I do not seem to get this vision out of my head and reviewing my pics for the day, there are is a much higher proportion of backside shots than usual.

Then off somewhere else. I have no idea what the bar was called or what her name was, but she is a serious stunner in my opinion. Definitely my ‘stunner of the day’.



And some of the guys were looking as though they were having an enjoyable time.



Then it was off to Country Girls III, where I enjoyed a bit of snogging and general 'fiddling about' with Nid. She was really good fun and was my personal all round pick of the day.



The alcohol now kicks in and everything goes hazy for a few hours.

I go to the loo and when I return a few minutes later, several people have gone. I sort of remembered that I had to go and pay BF for Nok as this was a party night and I'd only paid up until Nov 7. This shouldn't be a problem but for some reason, I feel that I must go and pay the BF NOW! I get a baht bus from Jomtien and travel past the hotel into town and make my way down to FLB Bar. I manage to negotiate a 500 baht discount on the BF for today (Only 1000 baht then) and pay BF until Saturday night. A total of 2500 baht bites the dust.

Another couple of beers and I'm well and truly pissed and it's only about 7:30 I think. I get a text from Nok which says "Not ok, come to hotel now". Okay, I'll go when I finish my beer. Then another message from Nok’s phone comes through "Nok and Joy with me HeHeHe. C U 2morrow Kev". That's it, I'm back to crying in my beer and I'm a total alcohol fuelled gibbering wreck now. Then another message comes in from Kevin’s phone this time saying "At Kilkenny's, see you in 10 mins". At the same time, I get a prod in the back; it's Nok and she simply says "I joking, okay?". No it bloody isn't okay, but I say nothing.

Nok takes me back to the hotel where its SSS and a change of clothes, then we head back to FLB for Ricky's party.

Joy & Nok (Honestly, I recognise them from this angle now)



You see, I was right!



The girls do enjoy a lively party (And thank God this was livelier than the bloody golfers)



And here we go, another shot of Ann (with Nok - now that's a fantasy thought). I have taken a picture of Ann just about every day and I have only just realised it whilst sitting here in England writing my TR.



Joy and Ann? (Kevin would never understand and he'd never forgive me)



No, Joy is definitely spoken for [more details on this later]



The dancing competition gets underway with an enhanced payout pot. Several of us have added 1000 baht each to make things a little more 'lively'.



Yep, it works! Money & Alcohol! It's all you need for a successful dancing competition.

And this is really scary, because I know that this is Ann again and I don't remember taking this picture. (Camera is obviously mau as well)



This would be just downright greedy.



Another crazy day and night in Pattaya is over and I have only partially survived I fear.

Trip 1 - Day 17

Tuesday 7th November
A Shopping Trip & The weirdest conversation

I come into the lounge having showered and Kevin simply says to me "Get your card out of the safe, all 4 of us are going for a holiday!"

Apparently Joy is not that fussed about going for a visit to her village, so Kevin has simply changed the venue to Koh Samet. Joy has told Nok that she is going on this trip with Kevin and apparently Nok also wants to go. I am in a bit of a daze over all this, as I was just planning a couple of days of quiet time to try and work out all the stuff in my head, but instead it's time to strap up tight 'cos here we go on the rollercoaster again.

Kevin and me go off to town on the baht bus to the junction of 2nd Road and South Pattaya Road and there is a Travel Agent called Joy (it would be, wouldn't it?) and we enquire about a three day (2 night) excursion to Koh Samet. We are shown a brochure of hotels and Kevin decides that Ao Prao Resort must be the best as it's marketed as a 5 star place. (Subsequently I found this note on http://www.thaihotels.com/ko_samet/ : Star ratings for hotels in Thailand have to be taken with a grain of salt, as there is not established rating system yet in Thailand. This system is currently being developed under leadership of the Thai Hotels Association and other industry bodies. Today hotels basically rate themselves)

The agent phones through to check availability and we are informed that the hotel is full; however there are still some deluxe rooms available. The price difference is only 600 baht per room per night (a little extra a lot of times is adding to the costs of this trip. I will need to be more aware of these extra costs on my next trip) so a decision is made there and then; the booking is confirmed and the trip is paid for (around 12,000 baht a couple for two nights B&B and return travel to the island).

The agent says that the bus will pick us up from our hotel at 07:30 on Thursday. We just start laughing and say that there is no way that we will get the girls up and ready for that time, so the agent changes our departure time to 11:00 (Much better).

So that's the holiday sorted out.

Kevin asks if I am going to book my return flight home whilst we are here. I say that there is no rush and I'll do it later. He just bursts out laughing and this draws some strange looks from the staff in the agency.

Next it's off to Soi Buakhao to buy some clothes as I forgot to put my laundry in yesterday and am running desperately short of tops and trousers. (The market is held on Tuesdays and Fridays. It’s a great place to get some cheap holiday clothes) I check out the shirts on one of the stalls and see a couple that I really like. There is a label in the bag with 425 printed on it and I think that £6 for a Polo branded shirt is not too bad a price. I pay with a 1000 baht note and get 805 baht change. Now as all seasoned BMs know, the Thai people do not make mistakes with money (unless it's to swindle some extra out of you), so I check the label again. It is a style number, not a price, so it was actually 195 baht (under £3). Now I know the going price, as we wander around the market I buy a couple of pairs of cargo pants (300 baht & 350 baht), 4 more shirts (199 baht - 225 baht each) and a couple of pairs of shoes (350 baht each). I have spent about 2400 baht in total and I am happy with my purchases. (I also realise at this point that the amounts of money being provided to the girls for shopping trips has been OTT. Just a simple outfit and a hairdo can be easily purchased for 1000 baht and a special one off outfit including a dress for a party can be had for 2000 baht., so no more 3000 baht shopping budgets from me. I know that many of you do not agree with paying for these shopping trips, but it gives me some pleasure seeing the looks on the girls faces when they get new pretty clothes. It's a universal happiness I suspect.

Moving on, we go to the IT centre to find out the price of an English / Thai (and other languages) electronic translation device. Am had one of these and it seemed to work fairly accurately and could save some embarrassment or confusion in the future. The problem is, we don't know how to describe the unit sufficiently well, so after a search on all 5 floors, we give up and decide to make our way back to the hotel.

When we arrive, Nok tells us that the Travel Agent has been on the phone to the hotel saying that there is a problem. Nok had tried to phone me to tell me, but I'd left my mobile in the hotel room. We phone the agent and Nok tries to determine what the problem is. She is simply told that there is a problem with the papers and I have to go to the office urgently. What can the problem be I wonder? I do not fancy trying to resolve this without assistance so I collect my passport from the room safe in case it's an ID issue and get Nok to travel to the agency with me. We get a bus immediately (no surprise there!) and we are in the travel agency 5 minutes later. They ask to see my ticket and simply swap one bus ticket for another (They have written the wrong cost on the receipt). That's all, goodbye. We are out of the shop within 30 seconds and back at the hotel less than 15 minutes after leaving. (TiT)

That evening, Nok decides to stay in the room and meet us later, so I travel in to town with Kevin & Joy. We plan to take in a few GoGo Bars tonight as we failed to complete this task a few nights earlier. It's too early for the GoGo's, so it's into FLB (we are such creatures of habit!)





The plan is to stay until around 10 and then visit a couple of GoGo clubs, however I encounter my first (and only) 'upset stomach' and I don't relish the idea of being too far away from relief. I pop out to the pharmacy and get some Immodium, then return to the FLB. We start playing the now familiar dice game with a few girls (Ann joins our group again! I still hadn't noticed her, yet I was busy taking a photo of her nearly every night!) [Patience boys]



We stay at FLB until we realise that we are the only customers in the place. It's probably a good time to leave. "Checkbin"





That night in bed, the weirdest conversation yet takes place.

"You really coming in January?"
"Yes"
"Martin really hab money for party on my birthday?"
"Yes"
"How long you stay in January"
"I don't know at the moment, I need to decide. Anyhow what will you do while I am gone? Maybe you go with other farang or maybe you become green badge hostess or maybe you go and dance in GoGo bar?"
"No want"
"Okay"
"What you do if I pregnant? You want DNA test? Is okay, I joking. Why you worry about age?"
"Never mind, it's my problem. Fan dee na"

Trip 1 - Day 16

Monday 6th November
The golfers are seriously boring

Oh well, I should have been on the flight to Muscat this morning, but having cancelled it, I have no idea when I'm going home. This is either the best or the most stupid thing I have ever done. I guess that I'll never know the true answer to that one.

I do remember this view, but I had not captured it for posterity before, so I could not resist. Muscat or the girls of Pattaya? Hmmh difficult decision that.



There aren't many pictures for today, as there was very little worth photographing.

Tonight at the FLB is the prizegiving for the RideHer Cup and it is supposed to be a party night. (Well I was charged a BF of 1500 baht based on it being a party). The night is a real bore with the golfers more interested in winning a stupid trophy or T-shirt than enjoying the company of a living, breathing TG trophy.

As can be seen from the following picture, the atmosphere was riveting. The guy in the yellow shirt cannot really be in a bar in Pattaya and be that miserable can he? Lighten up mate, it was only a game hitting a ball around a patch of grass.





The only thing that happened to make this appear to be a party was that free food was laid on. The place was full of people but with absolutely no atmosphere. If this is what golf is all about, count me out!

Not a smile in sight in this ‘Land Of Smiles’




I remembered that I was supposed to have a meeting on Tuesday morning with a guy from my village. Better send him a text and tell him I'll be in touch when I get home. (Oops!)



Finally! A smile! But not from one of the 'partygoers'.



I really cannot handle all the excitement at this ‘party’ tonight.



Even Scumbag looks quite chilled and sober tonight.



Joy and Ann have a chat (Why do I appear to have so many pictures of Ann when I hadn't really noticed her before?). The number of customers in the backgrouind = One (that I can see) This is a really great party guys. I really must attend your 'party' next year!

Trip 1 - Day 15

Sunday 5th November
Kevin has final upgrade

I've already covered the start of the Day in my report for Day 14, so I shall start be posting some theories that I have about why there has been the sudden change of attitude.

Today should have been my last day in Pattaya, yet I had been asked on several occasions whether I would pay BF for Nov 6 & Nov 7. When I did so, Nok appeared genuinely happy, so I guess that she had something special arranged. Maybe a trip home, or a few days with a husband / boyfriend / child? Everyone that I have spoken to that knows her has been vehement that she is not in a relationship with anyone.

Anyhow, now that I have decided to stay and have no fixed return date, she cannot plan anything. She is caught between what she wants to do and the potential of receiving more money from me. At 2000 baht a night, she is earning considerably more money than any of her service staff friends and as we are still drinking in the FLB, she is also collecting a high level of commission on ladydrinks as well.

She will have a high status because of the amount of money that she now has and she has already shown me a brand ne bank book in which she has deposited 4000 baht.

She is 19 years old and now has a bank account with savings equivalent to around 1 months salary from the Bar and the potential to receive another 15000 - 20000 baht.plus additional amounts for clothing / food etc. Also her friends in the Bar will receive commission on the drinks that I buy them. If I were with another girl, then the drinks would be bought for HER friends. So there is quirte a lot at stake.

A lot of these theories have only been considered after the event, but I'd be interested to hear other BM comments.

After breakfast, I return to the room and Nok is confused and seems a bit upset. "Why you not sleep? Why you get up? Why you go out for food? You want old woman?" Oh shit, now she thinks that my guilt over her age is a reflection on me not wanting her. I have no chance of explaining this one, so I simply give her a big hug and respond "No, I want you"

I don't remember much about the rest of the afternoon, because once again I had to venture of to the dentist and this was going to be the 'big one' for me. I decided to go for a walk before getting the bus (This is something that the TG's really don't understand about me. Why walk when you can easily get a bus?) and set off from the hotel at around 2 pm. I take a couple of diazepam tablets and then walk all the way from the hotel up 2nd Road to the big roundabout. En route I couldn't help but laugh at this sign. What a crazy place this is.



I get up to the roundabout and then get a private taxi baht bus to the hospital. It's only 100 baht this time, so I've saved 50 baht by walking the length of 2nd Road. I could have got a baht bus from the hotel to here for 10 baht. (Stupid farang).

I turn up at the dental clinic and I am about 25 minutes early. I am asked to take a seat and within 5 minutes I am in the dentists chair.

"Relax meester. Have you taken medicine?"
"Yes"
"Good, we go slow. Relax"

The whole procedure of six fillings takes about 50 minutes in total, with only one stop where had a twinge from a sensitive tooth. All in all, it was okay and I am very relieved and not surprisingly quite mellow.

I am asked how long I will be in Pattaya and I say that it will be for one more week, so I make another appointment for Friday to have the other 7 fillings done and possibly the two extractions. (It's amazing how brave you can be when you're a bit spaced out)

Out into the Pattaya late afternoon and I decide to walk a while before getting a bus.

More crazy wiring on Sukhumvit Road which I just find funny.



And for a third world country, this looks very civilised



I finally turn off the main road at the junction with Central Pattaya Road and get a private taxi baht bus back to the hotel for 100 baht again.

With hindsight, it was probably a bloody stupid thing to do, wandering around parts of Pattaya that I didn't know at all while spaced out on diazepam, but hey “It's my holiday”

In the evening, Kev and myself set off alone. Nok wants to stay 'in loom' and watch TV. 'No ploblem'!

Tonight is Loy Krathong, so Walking Street is really buzzing (and so am I a bit still!) In to FLB for a few beers, but a gentle pace. Kevin is single again and on the prowl. He spots his potential prey, but she is deep in converstaion with another farang. Damn!

The plan 15 minutes ago had been to leave and visit a few GoGo bars on Walking Street as we hadn't done this yet. All of a sudden the plan is postponed. "Let's just wait ten minutes and see if this guy makes his move?". He does make a move; he pays checkbin and leaves (alone). Mamasan Tai is called over within 30 seconds and asked if the lady would like to join Kevin for a drink. There is a brief chat and within a couple of minutes, she is sitting next to Kevin. Within another 10 minutes, she has been BF'd.



As an aside, I found this in the bar and thought it'd make clear the BF policy for the FLB. (It doesn't apply to red badge though, which has a completely different set of rules)



And I wasn't able to BF this red badge.



Kevin has now lost interest in visiting any GoGo bars, so it's of to Kilkenny's (again!). I like the food as well, but I am getting a bit bored now, but I don't fancy going off and eating on my own, so 'What can I do?'.



My phone rings, it's Nok. I can hardly hear her, so I pass my phone to Joy who tells her where we are. Within 30 minutes, in she walks. (I've never known her move this quick. What did Joy say to her?)



After eating, it's back to FLB and the service girls obviously find something amusing.



So, in summary, Nok was staying in (Wrong!); Kevin and myself were going to visit a few GoGo bars (Wrong!); Kevin was going to BF a stunning GoGo dancer (Wrong!)

DON'T EVER MAKE ANY FUCKING PLANS IN THIS PLACE. YOU JUST AIN'T GOING TO KEEP TO THEM!

A great night though and two very pretty girls.